Maxwell Hammer's Dumbasss Celebrity Quotes

billy bob thornton

2009-02-23T10:38:00.000-08:00

"I keep up with the Oscars about as much as I do the Miss America pageant," he says. "I think it's just a dog and pony show. It's horseshit."

- Angelina Jolie's ex-husband, Billy Bob Thornton, on the Academy Awards

kanye west still sucks

2009-02-17T17:04:00.000-08:00

"There's nothing more to be said about music. I'm the f*cking end-all, be-all of music. I know what I'm doing." Kanye West.

kanye west is ignorant

2009-02-15T22:26:00.000-08:00

"It was a lot of colors. Let me tell you another thing about ... I'm doing a blog right now where I've been collecting all of the freshest stuff that's rainbows — Denver Nuggets jerseys, BAPE shoes, Nikes with rainbows on 'em — and saying, "Man I think as straight men we need to take the rainbow back because it's fresh." Kanye West.

You have to read the whole article, he just says so many stupid things. Link.

carrie underwood on valentine's day

2009-02-14T13:57:00.001-08:00

"I don't believe—and this goes for anybody—your man shouldn't love you for one day out of 365. He should love you 365 days out of the year. I want Valentine's Day every day." Carrie Underwood.

I think she just wants presents.

mickey rourke and courtney love

2009-02-13T12:59:00.001-08:00

“I’d rather be on a deserted island with a gorilla.” Mickey Rourke said, after being asked if he was dating Courtney Love.

miley cyrus blames it all on god

2009-02-10T14:49:00.000-08:00

"'I have learned a valuable lesson from this and know that sometimes my actions can be unintentionally hurtful. I know everything is a part of God’s ultimate plan, and mistakes happen so that eventually I will become the woman he aspires me to be,' she wrote." Miley Cyrus.

Celebuzz:

mick jagger and brad pitt

2009-02-09T11:42:00.000-08:00

Brad Pitt Serves As Butt of Mick Jagger's Joke - BAFTA Awards 2009, Brad Pitt, Mick Jagger : People.com: "'Sir Anthony Hopkins is in the recording studio with Amy Winehouse,' joked Jagger, 'and we are hoping that next week Sir Brad and all the Pitt family will be performing The Sound of Music at the Brit awards.'"

penelope cruz wants you to blow her

2009-02-05T10:29:00.000-08:00

"'When I first came to America I made a lot of mistakes, like going to the hair salon and asking for a blow job instead of a blow dry.'" PENELOPE CRUZ - CRUZ'S LANGUAGE BARRIER STRUGGLES:

so does that mean david beckham is gay?

2009-02-04T20:25:00.000-08:00

"Inside me there is a gay man who wants to come out!" Posh Spice, aka Victoria Beckham.

david letterman about blagojevich

2009-02-04T11:49:00.000-08:00

"The more you talked," Letterman joked, "and the more you repeated your innocence, the more I said to myself, 'Oh, this guy is guilty.'"

News from The Associated Press

hillary duff

2009-02-03T13:04:00.000-08:00

Last week, when legendary actress Faye Dunaway learned that Hilary Duff was set to star in the remake of "Bonnie and Clyde," the Oscar-winner remarked to a reporter, "Couldn't they at least cast a real actress?''

Duff says: “I think that my fans that are going to go see the movie don't even know who she is, so you know…. I think it was a little unnecessary but I might be mad if I looked like that now too."

gwyneth paltrow doesn't throw up

2009-02-03T11:34:00.000-08:00

“I’m probably less square than people think,” she insists. “I never get drunk to the point of throwing up. But I get very talkative.” Gwyneth Paltrow

katy perry compares herself to a cow

2009-02-02T13:35:00.000-08:00

"Boys just want the milk, but they don't want to buy the cow."

People.com

kim kardashian brags that she's twice as big as jessica simpson

2009-01-30T13:42:00.000-08:00

"I am probably twice Jessica's size, so what do you guys think of me then???"

Kim Kardashian official web site – photos, blog, news, bio

jennifer anniston won't date men with hairy backs

2009-01-30T12:51:00.000-08:00

“Do you trust a man with a hairy back?” Jennifer said.

FOXNews.com - Jen Aniston Says She Has One Relationship Deal-Breaker - Celebrity Gossip | Entertainment News | Arts And Entertainment

ashton kutcher speaks kindly of his neighbor

2009-01-29T12:38:00.000-08:00

"this SOB owl feces cougar placenta jack bone dick!" Stars, They're Just Like Us: Ashton Hates His "F@#king Jackass Neighbor", Too! - Scanner:

I'm not sure what that means.

neil patrick harris talks about his favorite way to have gay sex....

2009-01-28T20:01:00.000-08:00

"'I think you've got to man up and do it face-to-face,'"Neil Patrick Harris: My Breakup Rules - Neil Patrick Harris News - Celebuzz.

Nah, he's really talking about breaking up with a guy, but I think it applies to both things.

harry potter thinks the twilight vampire is pretty

2009-01-27T13:42:00.000-08:00

"He is the much prettier and can be much more charming. And he can do that thing of being sultry and sexy. Rob can just sort of stand there and look at something and start to smolder."

Daniel Radcliffe Invites Obama Girls to Hogwarts - Daniel Radcliffe, Robert Pattinson : People.com

the d-bag formerly known as kanye west

2009-01-27T10:59:00.000-08:00

"I was forced to change my name to Martin Louis The King, Jr. Address me as such.' "Kanye West Pulls A Diddy And Changes His Name - Starpulse Entertainment News Blog:

lily allen and perez hilton catfight

2009-01-26T18:52:00.000-08:00

"When he's happy he's good and when he's sad about himself he's really horrible - about everyone,' she says in the February issue of Gay Times. "Perez Hilton slams Lily Allen as 'no role model' | Celebrity News | Now Magazine:

and then he's going to lose his virginity

2009-01-26T11:33:00.000-08:00

"'Like I'm gonna get my cherry popped.'
—House hunk Jesse Spencer, telling what it feels like to be a virgin, nomination wise, at the SAG awards"SAGs Red Carpet Quotes: They Said That? - E! Online:

dr pecker rocks

2009-01-26T11:32:00.000-08:00

SAGs Red Carpet Quotes: They Said That? - E! Online: "'Did I just say, 'Dr Pecker?' Sorry.'
– Giuliana Rancic, talking to Katrina Bowden about the 30 Rock actress' first commercial gig for Dr Pepper"

steve martin already planning pink panther 3

2009-01-26T10:03:00.000-08:00

“It would obviously open with Clouseau's honeymoon - him taking Nicole across the threshold and she's wearing arm pads and a helmet,”"

Steve Martin speaking of a sequel.

dumb model goes on pro-scientology rant

2009-01-24T12:48:00.000-08:00

Usmagazine.com | News - Scientologist Bijou Phillips Speaks Out Against Antidepressants: "'My grandparents didn't take any pills, and they were fine,' Phillips said in the February issue of Paper. 'Just buck up and get over it. Stop being such a fucking pansy.'"

andy loves dick, sometimes

2009-01-23T21:19:00.000-08:00

Andy Dick Tells Tyra He's Bi and On the Wagon - Andy Dick News - Celebuzz: "'I'll try anything,' he tells Tyra Banks. 'I really have tried everything, except nothing with animals. There's only room for one animal—that would be me.'"

kanYe West can't type right, either

2009-01-23T18:59:00.001-08:00

"NEVER TAKE A PICTURE FROM MY OBAMA PERFORMANCE AND PUT IT NEXT TO A BS QUOTE LIKE THAT! THAT'S IN POOR TASTE! THAT UNDERMINES WHAT MY CONTRIBUTION TO THAT EVENT WAS AND SLAPS EVERYBODY WHO FELT UPLIFTED BY THAT PERFORMANCE IN THE FACE!"

kanYe West : Blog :

Kanye West wants to do bisexual porn

2009-01-23T08:14:00.000-08:00

"I know people will find that as another thing to hate me on, but fuck it. I'm open to doing porn. Hell, I'll even do bisexual scenes - myself, another man and a woman, or just me and two women. I know people will find that as some weird shit, but I am who I am." Kanye West.

lily allen and lesbians

2009-01-22T10:19:00.000-08:00

Said Lily Allen,

“I did once snog identical twins in San Diego. I was on the sofa and I had them both. I was dancing and shoving my ass on one of them,” Lily blabbed to the UK’s Gay Times this week

paris hilton's bff

2009-01-20T13:32:00.000-08:00

The Superficial - Brittany Flickinger not enjoying the Paris BFF experience

"Paris, stop leaving me!" she was heard to have cried at Sundance, because Paris kept ditching her.

chris rock confused, thinks jimmy carter is president

2009-01-20T10:21:00.000-08:00

Chris Rock is Spending Inauguration Day in the Whitest Place in America - Scanner: "'I can't wait till tomorrow. Oh my god! They're going to swear in Jimmy Carter!'"

tommy chong on the economy

2009-01-18T15:09:00.000-08:00

Q&A WITH CHEECH & CHONG - New York Post: "Chong: Everybody has to learn how to live like a hippie. You got time to smoke now - you don't have a job. "

tommy chong on the legality of marijuana

2009-01-18T15:07:00.000-08:00

Q&A WITH CHEECH & CHONG - New York Post: "It's like gay marriage, only it tastes better."

mariah carey won't sign shoes

2009-01-18T08:59:00.000-08:00

Overheard At Sundance: Saturday, January 17th: "Shoe Publicist: Can we have Mariah sign one of our shoes?
Bodyguard: She's not gonna wanna do that.
Shoe Publicist: Mariah! Can you sign one of our—
Bodyguard: (shoving publicist) I said she's not gonna do that.
Mariah Carey: They look great, though!"

tommy lee jones is a cowboy

2009-01-17T13:27:00.000-08:00

'No Country For Old Men' Actors Inducted Into Cowboy Hall Of Fame - Starpulse Entertainment News Blog: "'By God, y'all are cowboys too,' said Texas Gov. Rick Perry to Tommy Lee Jones and some others.

brad pitt pot smoker

2009-01-17T13:24:00.000-08:00

BRAD PITT - MARIJUANA ADVOCATE REVEALS PITT'S POT PAST: "'We blaze (smoke pot) every day in his trailer,' Brad said, speaking of one of his unrevealed movie costars.

jenny mcarthy wants to see old women naked

2009-01-16T20:08:00.000-08:00

McCarthy leaves 'Playboy' | WFTS-TV: "'I don't really care about (younger celebrities). I mean, so many are prancing around in bikinis, it's like, whatever. I'd like to see Sophia Loren pose.'"

courtney love talks about jews

2009-01-16T20:06:00.000-08:00

Courtney Love Has a Problem With Jews - Courtney Love News - Celebuzz: "'Every time you buy a Nirvana record, part of that money is not going to Kurt's child, or to me, it's going to a handful of Jew loan officers, Jew private banks, it's going to lawyers who are also bankers,'"